The Time Traveler's New Year's Resolutions
What are YOUR New Year's Resolutions?
Although I move through time and space in a linear fashion, I don't experience it chronologically. So for the next 365 days (in Earth standard), here is what I resolve to accomplish:
I will engage in some kind of fitness-related activity for at least sixty minutes per solar cycle.
I resolve to no longer visit any time between 2004 and 2007—I will allow my relationship with Rebecca to be in my past and her current-and-or-previous timeline.
I will no longer attempt to arm General Sherman with Apache attack helicopters.
I resolve to stop investigating the mysterious deaths of two of Jerry Lee Lewis' wives. I simply listened to too much true crime this past 365 days and it got to me. I will give up this case that has so haunted me for so long.
I resolve to stop moving Thomas Edison's furniture around at night.
I resolve to learn more languages so that I can expand my exploration beyond American history.
I will stop trying to duel Andrew Jackson.
I resolve to finish my sci-fi novel.
I resolve to stop visiting my father for an apology. I think he is aware I am a time traveler and no longer engages with me in good faith.
I resolve to stop putting my time machine inside of itself in order to prolong my year. I will experience this year as a series of seconds, minutes, and hours. Where they will occur is not as important.
I resolve to read ten new books.
I resolve to stop trying to find the heat death of the universe.
I resolve to visit with my old neighbor (while she's old) and sit through her entire story without zapping to another part of history.
I resolve to stop giving third graders stock tips.
I resolve to leave Robert Zemeckis alone—he is not interested in my ideas for another Back to the Future Film.
I resolve to stop bringing the cat with me.
I resolve to stop investigating whoever left that flower in the time machine last cycle—whether it was another version of me or a different time traveler will be left to the fates. I can't keep chasing leads all over the timeline, and I don't want to accidentally find out the multi-worlds theory is correct.
I resolve to spend a little more time on myself.